If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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