My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
