Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
