whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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