The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
