Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
