i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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