bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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