Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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