Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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