Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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