so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
