Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
