I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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