Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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