WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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