I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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