He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
