How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Randomize
