i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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