she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
