i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
