Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
