I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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