Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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