Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
