I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
