I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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