they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
