We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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