So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
