I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
