i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
