Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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