The best revenge is premature balding
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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