And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
