Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
