I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
