im having a threesome with these popsicles
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Couch. On fire.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
