Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
