We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
