This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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