just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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