benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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