Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
