Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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