He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
