Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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