Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
