When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
