Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
