Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
