it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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