i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
